I haven't slept yet. I feel like I never sleep anymore. I've been watching the sun rise all week and I can't help but stay awake all night. Ive been staying my good friend Michael T.'s house for a majority of the week, mostly due to the fact that he's always too tired to take me home. That and I hate being at home. I don't like being anywhere these days I'd be content in a room by myself locked away from the world right now, with no one to ask me any questions or bother me with their petty problems.
I trust Michael though, he's about the only person I trust these days. Almost everyone in my life has proved to be two-faced and fake to me at some point. Michael has done a lot for me, he's been my night in shining sweater-vest so many times, saving me from myself at a time when I was my own worst enemy. I don't give him enough credit though, I feel bad, he's atually my best friend. I've never had a best friend before. I've had friends that I've known since I was really small but never one I could actually call my BEST friend. I give him shit for a lot of stuff but I ever mean it in a mean way. I just get carried away with the fun making ya know?
I have grown fond of my new friends in Normal Heights though. I always forget my problems when im out there. I just get to lestats and Im worry free for the time being. and everyone there is a character its amazing. Someone should write a sitcom based on that place. It would be perfect.
I spend alot of my days there since I have no job and can't seem to get one althought I've been trying for months. I feel like a leper and that no one wants anything to do with me in regards to finding a job. Sure, they'll be nice to me and hang out but once it comes to helping me with a job they all seem to turn their backs to me. Its been hard and I honestly feel at the this point that I have no future, and that I'm wasting my time pursuing any kind of career. All I ever wanted to do is tour and see the world or country at least and play music every night, but for some reason I always get dicked out of doing it. every band Ive ever been in has kicked me out then gone on tour. I have a lot of friends who's bands are really popular and get to tour almost year round. I can't say it's not fair and that they don't deserve it cause they do, but so do I!!
Needless to say i think my dream is dead.
